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i dont fit mainstream attractive standards.
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Oof, we have this problem in the lesbian community as well. I was the only lesbian in my town, so all that fake social media shit was the only interaction I had with the community. I ended up giving myself an eating disorder because of it. Then I just ended up even more sad and alone because no one really wants to approach someone who is noticeably upset (and starving) all the time. Now that I'm better, I absolutely love myself and although I'm still not receiving romantic attention, I'm perfectly fine with that. I might not be skinny, but I have beautiful eyes and I'm damn smart. On top of that, I'm a lot more confident than I was a year ago. What you said about focusing on what you do have rather than what you don't or can't is the mindset that essentially saved my life. I loved this video, these are the discussions we need to be having in the LGBTQIA+ community. Too many of us have stories like this.
Being seen in a hook-up bar may leave you feeling attractive and certainly wanted. But that is pretty shallow. You may get to someone's apt, undress, and suddenly not be wanted. It's all based on physicality and level of sobriety.
As for being seen in Columbus? The two places you mentioned are notoriously snooty/ conservative. At Comfest, the Buddhist Meditation Center on Rich at Grubb St., O'Connor's Pub at 20 E. Duncan...at these places you will be seen, welcome, and embraced. And they will be looking for the authentic you. Interested even because of your differences.
What an impressive video! The conversation is a thoughtful and critical one; I believe that too many of us Gay/SGL men have issues with self-esteem and self-worth. We need to be reminded that no one is perfect (kudos to you for pointing out the "fakeness" of social media), and that we must be comfortable in our own skins. And in order for an intimate partner to like/love us, we have to like/love ourselves! Thanks for this important content.
hello hello my people.. lets talk about it.... so many of you talk to me, connect with me, and have expressed that you dont fell like you look / fit the part. and tbh, based of of what many of you believe is the standard. i dont either. but with that being said how can you / how can we still push forward and live our best lives? for me, simply don't play that "game". i let other people play that game of who is, and what is attractive. as long as i love myself and my reflection in the mirror. i am good! thoughts on this?
The YT video for this topic is spot on. Particularly when you are 'looking.' Unseen, unnoticed; it's easy to internalize that as rejection.
But if we think about where we are unseen -- in a notably gay but still highly racist city like CMH, in a hook-up club? Being seen and chosen in these places isn't always a great thing either.