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are you leading with an abundant mindset?
or a scarcity mindset?
understanding your score.
This assessment was designed for gay men and queer individuals who are questioning whether they’re approaching love from a place of trust or fear.
It explores your self-worth, emotional regulation, and how you respond to connection — especially in a world that often pressures us to chase, prove, or cling. The questions are inspired by transformative texts like The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown, Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, and The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav. Whether you're actively dating, learning to detach, or trying to get more intentional, this tool will help you pause, check in with yourself, and start shifting your energy toward love that flows — not love that begs.
scoring.
👉 16-18 points → you’re leading with an abundant mindset!
🌱 you trust that love doesn’t require chasing. you know your worth, and you move with ease instead of urgency. your energy says “i am enough,” and that draws in connections that feel safe, secure, and real.
The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav
Helps you trust your intuition and embrace love that aligns with your purpose. perfect for staying grounded in flow and faith, not fear.
book recommendation.
👉 10-15 points → you’re shifting
🔍 you’re in between — you’ve tasted what abundance feels like, but old habits and fears still tug at you sometimes. you’re growing. and that’s powerful. this is the sweet spot for learning to trust, detach gently, and stay open without losing yourself.
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
Teaches you how to let go of fear, comparison, and scarcity thinking so you can live and love with more courage and authenticity.
book recommendation.
👉 0–9 points → you may be stuck in a scarcity mindset
🚧 you might be clinging to love out of fear that it won’t come again. you may panic when someone pulls away, or believe you have to prove your worth to be chosen. this mindset doesn’t make you weak — it means your heart has learned to protect itself. but it’s time to shift. you deserve peace, not performance.
Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
Helps you understand your attachment style and how it shows up in love. a great first step in healing your nervous system and building trust in relationships.
book recommendation.
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